Monday, November 18, 2013

Hey Women, Men Are People Too.

This is a rant. I'm not citing sources; you can look them up and correct me if you like.

Lately the internet has run amok with ubiquitous "Real Men" posts. Real men do this, real men don't do that, such and such is what it takes to be a real man, and only by meeting the criteria for a real man will you be considered for employment as a mate. These are almost unanimously met with "Amen, Sistah"s and other affirmations all around. However, not once to my knowledge has there been anything similar regarding Real Women. Imagine if the tables were turned and some bitter man penned a treatise on what constitutes a real woman. He'd be chased out with virtual torches and pitchforks and labeled a chauvinist pig.

Whether intentionally or not, modern culture has become such that men are held to a certain standard of conduct and women largely are not. Any few standards to which women are or used to be held, e.g. chastity, kindness, beauty and/or childrearing prowess, are contested and ultimately abandoned, because oppression. In today's culture, a man's chief duty is to everyone else, while a woman's foremost duty is to herself. A woman is entitled to a good man, while a man must fight, jump through hoops, beg for and otherwise "earn" a good woman.

Think I'm wrong? Consider this. One of my Facebook friends recently boasted about how her toddler daughter pushed a little boy over a toy. "Girl power," she called it. Had it been her son who pushed a little girl, it would be neither cute nor commendable. It's not just her, though. Society in general is sending the message that women behave less than admirably for good reasons and men for selfish or evil reasons. If a woman bullies a man, she's fighting off her male oppressors. Good for her. If a man bullies a woman, lock him up. If a woman abandons her family, she probably wasn't happy at home. If a man abandons his family, he's a deadbeat. If a girl breaks a guy's heart, she deserved better anyway. If a guy breaks a girl's heart, he let a good thing go. If a girl want's out of the friend zone, she's following her heart. If a guy wants out of the friend zone, he's got ulterior motives. If a woman goes apeshit, she's just in a bad place that she probably didn't put herself in. If a man goes apeshit, he's just apeshit. I could go on for days.

In spite of the popular idea that women want to be equals, they also still want to be princesses. That is to say, they want the best that chivalry and equality have to offer with none of the responsibility to anyone but themselves. Every woman hopes and expects to be treated like a princess by her man, but none of them want to treat their man like a king. In a world where women can own property, support themselves and otherwise live independently, they still quantify their relationships according to what the man can offer. Does he take you on nice dates? Did he buy you a big rock? Does he patiently wait out all your emotional tirades? Does he think you're beautiful all the time? Is he emotionally available? Is he a good father? Does he have a good job? And, most importantly, DOES HE EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN?

These are the qualities of a "real man": someone who selflessly provides and gives of himself while thinking only the best of his lady. What, then, can his lady be expected to contribute in return? What constitutes a real woman in this modern world? Sex? Only if she feels like it. Household duties? Only if she enjoys it and doesn't have something better to do, and even then you're expected to help. Child-rearing? Again, only if she wants kids and doesn't want to outsource their parenting to daycare, and even then you're expected to help. Emotional support? Only if you're not a pussy. Helping out financially? Maybe, but she'll resent you for being a poor provider. Commitment? Only if you meet her every demand and you do nothing divorce-worthy like aging, losing your job or treating her less like a princess. Respect for your personal needs, desires and ambitions? Not likely.

Is it any wonder why non-religious guys don't want to get married anymore? Dear Christ.

Women, it's time to decide if you want to be a princess or an equal. Those of you who keep trying to be both are scaring off the men for those of us who have picked and are willing to treat their men with the respect they are due. /endrant