Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Message to Naive Provocative Dressers

Since "slut-shaming" is a no-no these days, here is a gender-neutral message to everyone, male or female, who exposes their underwear in public on purpose:

Dear Clueless Individual,

I bet someone told you that whale-tail or sagging look you sport is cool. Perhaps your friends, celebrities and other people you admire dress like that. However, perhaps you didn't know that dressing to expose the undergarments, back in the day when most people had a sense of modesty, used to signal those around you that you were available for sex. It told unscrupulous people that you were available and scrupulous people that you were unclean, undisciplined and otherwise untrustworthy.

Now, I'm sure at this point you're thinking to yourself, "But I'm not asking for sex; I just dress like this because it's what I want to do and it's my body, damnit." That's fine. You can walk around town looking like something out of Rocky Horror Picture Show for all I care. However, your motivation for dressing the way you do does not mitigate the reality that unscrupulous people will still see you as an easy target and scrupulous people will lose respect for you. If that's a risk you want to take, be my guest.

By now you've probably got steam coming out of your ears and are about to accuse me of victim-blaming. None of this is to say that anyone of whom sexual advantage is taken can be blamed, at least not any more than someone who leaves food out while camping can be blamed for a bear attack, someone who leaves his garage door open can be blamed for a robbery or someone who walks down a dark alley with cash falling out of his pockets can be blamed for a mugging. However, all of these unfortunate circumstances can be prevented at least in part by doing the responsible adult thing and covering your own ass, literally and figuratively. If you should find yourself in a pickle because you made the mistake of trusting the world a little too much and making yourself an easy target for a predator, I'm not going to have much sympathy for you.

A concerned citizen -- not your mother, not a misogynist and not a square.

Monday, December 2, 2013

When in Doubt, Flank It With Pumpkins: (Belated) Fall Decor Part 2

Better late than never, right? I wanted to put all these pictures up before Halloween, but family vacations, work and ADD happened, as is their wont. So, without further ado, enjoy a tour of my fall/Halloween decor: 

The front door on Halloween. I got the door hanger from Hobby Lobby.

I kept the mantel pretty simple. The only additions to the existing set-up were a couple foam glitter gourds from Walmart with some moss.

A cute little stuffed turkey from Hobby Lobby graces the fireplace seat.

A ceramic pumpkin from Hobby Lobby on the right side table.

A Hobby Lobby ceramic pumpkin and a Walmart foam pumpkin on the left side table.

This year's Jack-o-lantern.

All I did with the coffee table was add a cool copper pumpkin and a Waxberry oil candle.

The entry "shrine" with moss and a couple Hobby Lobby pumpkins. That pedestal makes anything look classy; I need more of them.

I draped a stained glass Hobby Lobby leaf garland over the mirror, because I can't leave well enough alone.

The kitchen, having no counter space, was pretty simple. Just a ceramic owl jar and leaf placemat from Hobby Lobby on the range (plus a beaded spider hanging in the doorway and a purple glitter pumpkin on another counter, of which I failed to get a picture).

We have a cool little look-through between our kitchen and our living room, so I stuck another pumpkin on a platter and flanked it with moss and candles.

As you can see, the overarching theme for the season was, "When in doubt, flank it with pumpkins." Buying said pumpkins turned out to be a bit of an apartment-dwelling rookie mistake on my part, as they take up a hell of a lot of storage space en masse.

Where has all the closet space gone? Pumpkins ate it, every one. When will I ever learn? When will I ever learn?

Fortunately for me and my bank account, fall decor is pretty hard to come by when you're not into orange and black. I'm lucky if I can find one or two green and purple things that aren't campy. If I had to do it over again, I'd buy items that are either hollow or flat.

As you may have guessed from the picture above, I tore everything down today and have begun the process of decorating for Christmas. Hopefully that will be done within the week.